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"Hello Love!"
~ my P*ssytwinkle story.

I was at war against myself-

against my desires, my self-worth and my needs.

An inner battle that had me gas-lighting my feelings,

hiding my truth from myself and others,

and seeking validation from everyone but me.​ 

I read all books, took courses, looking for thing I desperately wanted:

Self-love. But I didn't find it there.​

Within days of closing the book or finishing the course, my self-love high would wear off. My belief that I was unworthy of the love I wanted would always return.

I had been telling the Universe that I was ready for a big initiation into my potential.

That I was ready to take risks.

To come out of my hidey-hole. 

To stop needing permission.

To be in the world in the full, truthful effulgent 

expressive of myself as a creator, artist, woman.

This is what it pitched back to me

during a meditation that irrevocably changed my everything:

A high-voltage sacral chakra explosion 

that not only knocked my socks off,

it called me to embody it OUT LOUD,

as a creator, an artist, a woman and a coach,

bringing me to the very EDGE of my comfort zone

in order to obey my creational calling.

And I was like, are you effing kidding me? 

This is what you want me-

a cautious, late blooming recovering wallflower,

raised to worry about what people will think of me-

to be and to bring to the world? 

Can't we start with something less... edgy?

The Universe just smiled.

And P*ssytwinkle was born.

I know what you’re thinking.

Yes, it’s THAT, but THAT is cradled in a vessel that is vastly more than that.

It is Svadhishthana, the Sanskrit name for the sacral chakra, 

the “dwelling place of self”. 

It is the place that houses our eros-

our life force energies of love and pleasure-

both giving and receiving. 

The cauldron of our emotions and sensuality, 

our pleasure and desire.

The throne of our soul's wisdom and the path of our purpose.

It is the fire of our inspiration and our creativity.

I had found my soul's true north in my body.

And it was familiar to me- 

I had felt her there all my life:

When my heart was touched by beauty. 

And when I was deliciously inspired to create it 

When I melted into the love and adoration by my man-

and my love and adoration of him.

When I was returned home to my God-honest truth

When I felt it twinkle my YES

 

But I had become good at numbing her out 

because of what she asked of me:

That I prize feeling, honoring and expressing her 

over what other people wanted  from me.

 

Once I felt it, I could not unfeel it-

not without a deep, heart-breaking knowing 

that I was  denying myself  

the experience of myself

in my one precious lifetime. 

And knowing that I could no longer mute

all the creative hotspots 

of  my love and desire and fire and pain.

That I could no longer be afraid to shine my light.

P*ssytwinkle is me,  my truth, my desires, my love and my pleasure.

P*ssytwinkle is in full approval of all that I feel and experience.

P*ssytwinkle asks me, "What would I really love to create?”  

P*ssytwinkle invites me to luxuriate in the delicious feeling of desire and open wide to receive.

 

Declaring P*ssytwinkle to the world was super edgy to me.

But fear blocks her energy,

and her magic is too precious to block.

She handed me the keys to my creational power, 

and a mission to connect women with theirs.

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