My beloved and I had argued. I felt hurt, (and so did he).
I retreated to my art studio to paint.
The emotional waters of realm of my feminine energy were roiling and rising. They needed to be seen and felt, but they also needed the support of a container or they would drown me. And that is what my masculine energy provided for me.
I let my emotions choose the colors and move my brush, riding the wave of my pain as it swelled, intensified and crested, then slowly dissipated.
As I did, I noticed how my sense of my world evolved, from one of danger to one of possibilities, as the wave moved its energy through me. In time, I felt more able to return to my partner with my less reactive, more creative problem-solving brain back on line.
And I created a powerful piece of art in the process!
In my family, expressing our hurt and anger was all but forbidden- verbally or with body language. We were discouraged from feeling ourselves and being felt by others because emotions were not safe.
But what is less safe is denying our emotions.
Emotions are protective. They inform us and others of what is important to us, letting us know what we need to pay attention to. When we know how to work with them and not against them, they prepare us for taking constructive action. When we stay with our emotions, strapping in and riding them to the crest of their intensity, we allow them to dissipate and complete their natural cycle. That is when our creative problem-solving parts of our brains can come online to take constructive, reparative action.
There are no shortcuts in this process. Circumventing the discomfort of our feelings by stifling them, gaslighting them, projecting them, or blaming them on others to avoid our own uncomfortable ride results in actions that can make a mess.
It’s like when I didn’t know how to bodysurf a wave. I tried to get on top of it too soon and it pounded me into the beach with my bikini top around my knees. There is no way to control a wave. But we can learn how to not let it drown us, and to ride it back to shore.
Building our tolerance for the waves of our feminine energy emotions instead of dismissing them, calling in the support of our masculine energy to honor us, remind us we are safe, and lead us in the direction towards what we want to create is the creative dance of masculine/feminine energy within.
Comments