Love recently gave me a lesson in itself. It was during the busyness of the holidays and I was neglecting my daily self care routines. I was feeling depleted, disconnected. Feeling oh-so-subtly like the victim of people and circumstances around me. I knew why- so I returned to my self-love mala beads and meditation practice. And I made a demand of Love: “I don’t like how I feel right now. So, come on Love, I need you to do your job right now and make me feel better.” And Love's reponse? “ ................. " Have you ever made a demand of love from someone? In the form of their attention? Their care? Demanded that they meet your expectations of love? Maybe that didn’t get you the love that you demanded. Maybe it did. But it’s likely that it wasn’t love you got. You likely got their anxiety, dressed up as love. And their quiet resentment likely followed. Because love doesn’t speak the language of demand any more than you and I can speak Martian. And this is what Love told me when I demanded of it: Love cannot kneel to my demands. I kneel before Love. Love hears and speaks desire. Love offers love from love. Love receives love from love. Love, pure love, is trustworthy. So I let go of my demand of love. I let go of trying to control its response to me. And I told it what I desired: To release myself to it. To submit to its lead. To become one with it. And when I did, I had what I desired: The source of my satisfaction. Love- she's my Queen.
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