I don't want to regret this.

I don’t believe in regrets.

But there is one potential regret that terrifies me: The regret of coming to the end of my show without singing my song. In my relationships with others and with myself. And in my art.

Here’s the thing about all relationships however - they are really between us and ourselves. They are always a reflection of who we think we are on the inside.

So when I wasn’t feeling the love for myself, I relied on a relationship to confirm my lovability. When I felt like I sucked, I looked to my art to give me value. I wanted them both to keep me safe, but they just ended up reflecting the unsatisfying relationship I had with myself.

Fear of being oneself is a creativity killer. Perfectionism chokes the life out of love. I've painted with joyful expression only to paint over that raw, authentic energy, hiding from potential criticism.

My partner, also a painter, after seeing that I choked the life out of yet another painting, once told me: “For someone who cares so much about being seen, you sure do a good job of hiding yourself.”

Well, shit, I thought. I have a codependent relationship with my art. I am needing it to do for me what I can’t do for myself: To love and accept myself from the inside out. Because loving myself and my art is an inside job.

As Joseph Campbell wrote, “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”

The treasure I seek is ME in the fullness of my expression. To love my genius and my growth shitshows equally, in my life, in my relationships and in my art. That’s the treasure. It leads to true satisfaction and freedom.

The universe put me here to sing my own unique song - lovable simply because it is - outloud for everyone to hear. To paint my love with abandon, love with abandon, for everyone to see.

The Universe put you here to sing your unique song- and you have one. It loves what you create. It wants what you want. Because you are it and it is you. Are you ready to bring your fully expressed YOU to your relationship with yourself, with others, and with what you create?