This morning, as I practiced my morning self-devotion ritual- mediation, gratitude journal- and I felt deeply gratitude for myself for doing so, I noticed my fear.
It was the fear of being alone.
Because of my self-devotion practices, I am able to show up in the world more truthfully, more authentically me.
But in that moment, I feared that I will be rejected for it, and that it is more safe for me to be wanted and approved of by others than it is to be wanted of approved by me.
I would not have even registered that little niggling feeling a couple of years ago, and would therefore have believed it.
I was so practiced at ignoring my needs, my desires, so deaf to the truth that speaks through my body.
But I have been devoting myself to the practice of deeper self-attunement.
It opens my heart to life.
I opens my ears to the quietest whispers of truth and wisdom that speak to me.
It opens my body- my P*ssytwinkle®, the place of my YES.
It feels like coming home, because that is exactly what it is.
When we devote ourselves to the truth of who we are, and walk through the world in our own light, in the fullness of our desires, love, and truth not everyone will dig us.
That part of me that, the little girl who still lives in the memory of my body, who was dependent on the love and approval of others to survive, peeped her fear of being rejected and alone.
I told her: “Sweetheart, it is though your devotion to feeling YOU that you find true safety. It is when you cherish the truth of your nature, what you love and desire, that you will felt by those who align with you, and by Life that wants to create with you.”
Self-abandonment is isolation.
Self-devotion is belonging:
To our truth, to forgiving ourselves for what we did not know, to what we love.
To GRACIOUSLY and RUTHLESSLY clearing the obstacles to our devotion to our truths,
so that we can live in the fullest expression of who we are.
And who we are is divinely created, uniquely and on purpose.
This is P*ssytwinkle®.
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