I put my “low maintenance-ness” at the top of my list of my virtues.
AKA: My list of reasons why people should love me and not leave me.
AAKA: My list of all the ways I hid my desires and my truth to be accepted.
AAAKA: My Beggar Woman’s Minimalist survival list.
I no longer believe there is such a thing as a truly low maintenance woman.
Nope nope nope.
I believe there are women who contort themselves into the person they believe others want them to be.
I believe there are women who deny their needs and desires, dismissing them, minimizing them, gaslighting them, sweeping them under the rug.
I believe there are women who overcompensate for the ways others don’t show up.
I believe there are women who over-function instead of asking for help.
I believe there are women who are afraid to express their true feelings for fear of being criticized, judged and rejected.
I believe there are women who are starving for attuned, accepting, loving "maintenance" but don’t give themselves permission to ask for it, need it or even want it.
I’ve been one, too.
But I don’t believe there are low maintenance women.
I had an amazing DDD today that drove this home. (Daily Divine Download is what I affectionately call my morning meditation.)
Me: “Hey God, you feel farther away lately. Your voice hasn’t sounded as strong.”
God: “Hmmmm……………………....”.
I turned my attention to my body and the emotions that were alive there, but that I have been sweeping under the rug.
I felt them to their fullest. I spoke them out loud.
“I feel scared. I feel hurt, I feel uncertain. Because I don’t know what to do about XYZ…?”
God: “Double down on being truly, authentically YOU and you will know. And hold my hand the entire time, because you and me- we come first.”
Just the thing I needed to hear.
Me: “Now I feel and hear you loud and clear!”
God: “Because now I feel and hear YOU loud and clear.”
It’s simple, my dear Sisters of Scarcity:
-You must be feelable to be felt.
-You must be felt to be cared about.
-You must be feel-able to yourself, to others, to your man, to Life and the Divine to create the life you love.
And that means you must be bravely vulnerable with your truth and your desire.
To come out of hiding and offer something that the world can respond to.
And as you do, hold the hand of Divine power that knows your worth.
I have been on a sacred journey back to my truth and to the Divine- like, my whole life. The gold that I have collected along the journey: feeling more and more free as me.
I had to laugh-
I don’t remember the full context of the conversation or the guy we were having it with.
My partner said, “Oh she’s not as low maintenance as she seems!”
And I smiled so hard.
P*SSYTWINKLE® THAT!
Being low maintenance is not a virtue.
It goes against the Eros of Life.
(And... dumping the low-maintenance is not a ticket to entitlement and getting everything our way. But that's a topic for another post....)
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