In a word, alignment.
Words like “resolutions” and “goals”make me want to wage mutiny against authority because they trigger my fear that there is no room in them for me.
What authority is that?
The wrong one- the one that sees me as not enough, a problem to be fixed, and uses shame and fear to motivate me.
Of course, this is of my own making.
The world has plenty of shame to sell us. It is happy to instill us with the fear that we aren’t thin enough, ambitious enough, pretty enough, good enough, that we are a problem that needs to be fixed.
If we aren’t paying attention, we will buy it.
When we are motivated by fear and shame, we become dependent on keeping it around to abuse us into bettering ourselves.
When my goal motivation was to avoid shame not only was I terrified of failing, I rightfully resented how awful the threat of shame made me feel. So I dropped my goals to escape the threat. Then I would feel like a failure. And there it would be again- shame, telling me it didn’t really believe in me in the first place.
It was a vicious, self-devouring cycle that never really worked.
And even if it did, my satisfaction was often polluted with the relief of having avoided failure and shame.
Shame isn’t just unhelpful motivation, it’s anxiety-fueled survival.
What do I love instead?
The inspiration of alignment from within- which makes no room for shame whatsoever.
The inspiration of alignment with what I love, desire, what is for my highest good, and how I want my life to feel.
Your inspiration of alignment begins with how you want your life to feel.
Your inspiration of alignment with how you want to feel in your body that lovingly leads you to the gym, a healthier meal, a daily meditation practice.
Your inspiration of alignment with how you want to feel in your soul by honoring the rightness of your desires, saying no to what you want to say no to, yes to what serves you even when it's hard, and holding yourself to your standards and requirements so you can create your relationships with more love.
Your inspiration of alignment with how you want to feel in your power by leading you to grow, to take on new challenges, and new responsibilities, to discover your potential by steering you clear of fear, doubt and shame, and the victim stories that get in your way of creating what you want to create.
The inspiration of alignment with how your want to feel in relationship with yourself, not by shaming you and threatening you with fear of failure. But by by reminding you of the rightness of your desires and your worthiness in having them.
The inspiration of alignment that is sustainable because it is sourced from within you-
from what you love and desire to experience in your life.
The inspiration of alignment that begins with your devotion to you.
Devotion! Another word I love!
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