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Writer's pictureLinda Wallace

"I really REALLY need you to understand this,"-the gift of a breakdown.

Sometimes the Cosmic Masculine Champion needs to grab us my the collar, get up in our face, and tell us to stand the hell up.


Sometimes the Cosmic Masculine Champion grabs us by the collar, gets up in our face, and tells us to stand the hell up.


He does that by letting us first fall into the hell we are creating for ourselves.


I didn't grow up with God. I have always felt the presence of a higher consciousness, but, until recently, have had an aversion to calling it God.


Because, to me, God was superstition and patriachial bullsh*t.


But not anymore.


A breakdown is a collapsing under the weight of our survival strategies and adaptations that demand that we contort, dismiss and deny our needs and our true natures.


Breakdowns are as hellish as f*ck.


The thing about the Masculine Champion, within, in the world and beyond, is that he will always give us what we need.


Sometimes that is giving us a taste of the hell we are cooking up for ourselves.


It happened to me recently.


My Feminine Muse was in a heap on the floor.

Her splendid garden was torn to shreds.

My nerves were fragile, and I felt like a helpless victim.


I meditated, and surrendered myself to the support of a higher power.


And this is what I received,


"I really need you to understand this: I love you! You are my beautiful creation! I want you to love and cherish you, my beautiful creation, the way that I do! I want you treat her beautifully! And this bullsh*it here is not doing that! I want you to feel how badly this hurts! You are worthy of so much more because you are mine! So feel this! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME NOW?"


God, The Cosmic Masculine Champion, my lover, my father, my protector, my biggest fan, provided for me with a heavy-handed demonstration of contrast between what I was tolerating and what I actually deserve.


I am creating a love affair within between my Feminine Muse and my Masculine Champion within.


And my Masculine Champion within is the proxy of the Divine.

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